Dad loses home due to poor financial decisions and pressures adult daughter to house him, but refuses to give up his risky business practices: ‘I have reached my limit’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jan 19, 2026 2:00 PM EST

How do you reconcile with a parent who repeatedly chooses failing business ventures over safety and security for you and the rest of your family?

Well, if we're being honest, it's quite hard. On the one hand, you want to believe forgiveness is necessary in the healing process. On the other hand, you struggle to forgive someone who continues to make the same mistakes that put them in the position they were in when they disappointed you in the first place. There are plenty of reasons to cut off a family member, but the primary reason should be to protect your own peace. Without it, you'll move about the world uncomfortably and fearfully. You can't let another person's mistake affect you for the rest of your life.

The woman in the story below does exactly that: She protects her piece while still acknowledging the fact that her financially irresponsible father needs help. At what point, though, do you stop being the savior for someone else, especially for someone parental who should be taking care of you? How do you separate your heart from your head?

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  • portrait of a lonely senior man sitting on a sofa
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "AITAH: Am I the ******* for setting boundaries with my homeless dad?"

    I am struggling with whether I am wrong for saying no to my dad staying with me temporarily, and I am looking for an outside perspective.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • Growing up, I wanted for nothing. We had a warm home, loving parents, and a family environment that felt open and welcoming.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • One of my happiest memories is just seeing a pile of shoes by the front door, a sign that the house was full and food was being shared.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • Friends were always welcome, and my dad was generous. If he has he gives. That changed when my dad ran into financial trouble through property and other ventures.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • He remortgaged our family home. My mum was firmly against it, but he convinced us as children to support the decision and help him get my mum onboard, by telling us one deal would change everything.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • It did not. Debts went unpaid, and my parents eventually lost the house. They are now effectively homeless and staying with family while renting the property out.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226

  • That's always the narrative, isn't it? When someone grows accustomed to gambling, they will say or do anything to ensure that they can continue to do it. The woman's father put his family's life on the line, and even after they lost the home, he couldn't stop.

    Even though there's a clear disconnect between her father's expectations and his reality, one has to remove oneself from a toxic situation once they realize nothing will change.

    The woman gracefully allows her father to stay with her and her husband on and off, but he refuses to take any real responsibility for his life and actions during each stay. The woman has tried to reason, but without reason on both sides, nothing good will come to fruition… only pain.

  • a person holding an empty wallet in their hands
    via Yunus Tuğ For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • When my dad needed somewhere to stay 'just for a short while,' he moved in with me.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • That short while turned into months and put strain on my marriage. He still talks about deals and opportunities and refuses to register as homeless for housing support due to pride and a belief that positive thinking will fix things.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • He feels getting comfortable would kill his drive, but instead he keeps chasing big deals, which is stressful to watch.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • After housing him for over six months, he moved into an Airbnb. When money gets tight, he asks to come back for -'just a few days.' The last time this happened, my husband said no, pointing out that I have three brothers and the responsibility should be shared.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • I agreed and told my dad he could not stay with us. He was upset and has said before that if I do not help him, I'll make him depressed.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • What hurts is that setting this boundary seems to erase everything I have already done, including housing him, paying towards food and rooms, and helping with admin and applying for benefits.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • I have children and run my own business, and the constant urgent requests from him and lack of organisation pushes me to burnout.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • My dad believes | have abandoned him by refusing to let him stay again, while I feel I have reached my limit and need to protect my own family and mental health.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • Am I the ole?
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226
  • Diamond CalvesFan You're not erasing the good past by protecting your present/future.
    via DiamondCalvesFan
  • bk1insf "Givers have to set limits because takers never do..." My sister is like this and boy isn't it nice how your first "no" makes them 100% ungrateful for any and everything you've ever done? Why try further to win the approval of someone who's willing to shit all over every huge favor you did them? Would you invest money into a mutual fund that set your entire balance to zero the first time the market dipped by 1 penny? Of course you wouldn't, but that's what giving to a person like this is
    via bk1insf
  • Leigeofgoblins NTA - what you're describing at the beginning is the bare minimum a parent should be doing for the children they choose to have. It's irrelevant to the rest of the story imo. You owe nothing. If he was willing to help himself I'd be a little more sympathetic but he sounds a bit chaotic and inconsistent and that sounds stressful.
    via Leigeofgoblins
  • Pitiful-Jaguar7226 Unfortunately the end description is spot on. He recently mention that 'if he makes a mill from a deal, he will use it for more deals' and it made me so annoyed. If you had 1 million would you not just finally relax? It's all this 'rolling of the dice' that has us in this situation.
    via Pitiful-Jaguar7226

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family drama money problems daughter home Father
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